You
It's been an interesting season. I'm processing a lot of things. How are you doing?

Robby Butler
Yeah Good night interesting season processing a lot of things

You
Yeah, how about we take a minute and ask Jesus what he might want us to discuss or

Robby Butler
Parents

You
share Feel guilty and I'll give me a minute to go so get out the door and get through the connection issues

Robby Butler
All right

You
OK

Robby Butler
I can you can hear me, yeah

You
Are you ready? First

Robby Butler
Go ahead go for it

You
So my heart is just to just a firm Robbie and our friendship and honor you and the question I had for you whenever it's time was what if anything is Making it difficult for you to feel peace

Robby Butler
McKay Yeah, I'm I think I'm feeling a lot of peace so I'm not connecting when there's anything that's making that difficult It's I don't know pre- relaxed season

You
Wow, that's great

Robby Butler
Talking with Jackie yesterday about she's had this long-term since that we need a sabbatical and I asked her yesterday what how would a sabbatical be different from what we're experiencing right now and she said no I think I think it would be what we're experiencing now so I'm not sure when it started or how long will be but just a season of focusing on Deepening our connection with God and Getting gaining a deeper, I don't know sense of direction for maybe not direction but what it is that he has for us to do among so many things that we could do so yeah That's good

You
Did you hear anything when you were the violent?

Robby Butler
Well, I've I was when you texted writing the call. I was just in the middle of responding. There's a young man in Africa, who asked me to discipline him just a year ago or something originally I felt at a loss as to how. To direct him because I was in the midst of kind of shifting and perspective from trying to do everything I could God to abiding and letting fruit come naturally or Maybe in more Winship terms from doing to being or so as I invited him recently, he renewed contact. I invited him to listen through the first in the Winship series on finding Hope and depression, which is really just on finding Hope, but it was sponsored by a group in the mental health area.

You
Yeah

Robby Butler
And so I've been I've been going through those on my own, and I invited him to listen to the first one and he gave me a good summary of what they said, but then he didn't respond to the practice that they introduced at the end of each session they ask you to go through Imagination exercise with the Lord to try and listen,

You
Yeah

Robby Butler
and what came back is his fear of not doing the things that God wants him to do and The thing that is beautiful confession and how can I encourage him in understanding? Guess what brought the mind was that so anyway you were asking about what I was came to be as we were asking Jesus and getting back to that point the the issue of how we read the Bible and months ago you commented that just sending somebody to read. The Bible isn't necessarily helpful. And I because they can misread it and I've been that kind of opened up perspective in my mind which again Jamie's been very helpful with that We can read it from a scarcity or separation worldview reading. How do we self protect self promote and view and God is distant and demanding and disappointed in us, which is what I sent sky in Africa and where I've been in my life and I think a lot of people come to that just reading scripture. But If we approach it with the connection, abundance world view that we see God is love and he's always pursuing us. He's always eager to. Leave us from our fears to rescue us from our fears to be with us now to invite us into things to discipline us good so that we're constantly ascending So I'm I was as as when I got your text. I was singing I'd love to interact with you Ernie about how how do you help somebody who's been miss reading the scripture and seeing experiencing God or seeing God as distant and demanding to make this transition That's what was on my mind and I don't know if that was from the Lord or not but you

You
OK, I think that's a You know the and I think maybe I'll make that more personal than that the One way to frame the attention that I'm going through right now is How do I emotionally navigate the tension or integration between the idea that God loves me just as I am and I need to die to

Robby Butler
Right

You
myself and that And I think I describe the summon this week as it's kind of also detention between responsibility and freedom and feeling like there's certain things I need to do which at some level is true but it's some level is

Robby Butler
Yeah

You
toxic

Robby Butler
Hello

You
And possibly built at the same time and an even

Robby Butler
Yeah

You
more nuance way of putting it is, how does God feel about me?

Robby Butler
Yeah

You
And so there's something there I'm not sure what but let's just lay it on the table and ask the Holy Spirit Jesus what do you want us to know about this?

Robby Butler
Yeah

You
Right

Robby Butler
What is the butterfly?

You
Also What I heard was you need to know that I love you the way that I love Jesus Which includes putting them on a cross

Robby Butler
Yeah, yeah My beloved sign to my well, please

You
Yeah, and I think there's a there's a narrative arc there

Robby Butler
Yeah

You
That Includes get semi right is that there needs to be a foundation of you know start with a friend of mine I thought she bring up, which is that Should we hate ourselves or do we hate ourselves and and the way that I've sort of framed it is that you know all emotions are valid they all convey useful

Robby Butler
Rain

You
information, including self discussed

Robby Butler
Yeah Yeah

You
Which is a good term for hat reader as I found is sort of in discussed spectrum that's perfect but it's a useful framing at least, and there is a sense in which there is a thing that is me that has to die even though

Robby Butler
Hey

You
Was called a version of myself and but there is this I guess Non- linear Dynamic in God's love for us, which is confusing right if God clearly loves

Robby Butler
Nothing

You
Jesus, no one would dispute that fact, but you know you know his origin starts with him being sort of

Robby Butler
Right

You
separating from God to incarnate into the world

Robby Butler
Right

You
And then you know you interested with this ministry and there's a deep sense of blessing follow immediately by a season of temptation And no, I'll be literalist and say Jesus really was tempted. These were not obvious things that required no spiritual effort for overtime you know, even if it was

Robby Butler
Right

You
straightforward. It was still a real challenge so you could be deeply loved by

Robby Butler
Yeah

You
God and still star deer and you know attacked by Satan so that's interesting.

Robby Butler
Bye

You
Right and then steps in the ministry and you know it has to deal with and email honesty. He has to deal with a lot of really annoying stupid humans. He just can't understand why it's not obvious to them that God loves them. And that he's there to take care of them so you can be fully confident of God's love for you and still be really annoyed yourself human beings, which is interesting and frustrated and challenged by that and see things that work because the people's lack of faith And then there were something about the cross that was emotionally raw for Jesus

Robby Butler
Hello

You
And you know I got a snapping feeder and having to do the whole get so many thing and Unless there was an internal struggle, he had to face of Gethsemane, which was really important and very real and very visceral, and then there was this external poor man. He still had to go through, even after all that which was also very unpleasant in various ways,

Robby Butler
Yeah

You
including the whole, maybe that's why they was. And so I think that's the thing that is Our minds break is that it's God loves me. Why would he put me through such horrific circumstances? And So anyway, that's what I heard and what I see and what I feel like I wants us to know I'm not quite sure how that engages with your question or your friends question but

Robby Butler
Yeah, well the first thing that popped in my mind as you're asking question The latest Susie Larson interview of Jamie opens with Susie, mentioning a friend who had some term illness in her teens, and I was healed miraculously and has a amazing ministry of healing, but she this young lady Starts each day by just saying, my father remind me how you feel about me and then she just waits for that renewed sense in awareness of his presence in his love and I think This living at Jamie has this are actually a bond of saying we can't give what we haven't received and that was the first comment to her that really shifted her from being Being trying to give and serve and do for others Into this orientation of first receiving and experiencing Godzilla and I think that's a we you know that part of the scarcity mentality is our mindset is that we need to God's favor we need to know December or something you know out of our action so that we can enter her into relationship As you know, you were just recounting Jesus life The public ministry starts with God saying my beloved son who well pleased before he's done anything it's recorded And This is the foundation and them how to I know what my this guy in Africa is conclusion is that God wants him to go and meet people and help them know God And I'm thinking, but he says you know I live in fear of disappointing God in fact, and I think you know I've struggled in evangelism because the good news hasn't been I feel and no God's love and care it's been There's a lot that needs to be done and part of that is I need to tell you about God, but I don't know if you remember that compilation I made it Carl Lehman with

You
Yeah

Robby Butler
It called no method, but it says you know for 30 years or whatever he's just been faithful at hanging on and trying to do the right thing and then he

You
Yeah

Robby Butler
realized, and then he had this transforming experience, though I can experience and know God's love and joy that comes out of that and I was thinking that fear is not in the list of the fruit of the Holy Spirit But that's what you know that's how a lot of our Response to God is driven. Disappointing him . Being punished her fear of losing out on eternal life fear

You
Yeah

Robby Butler
I'll stop there because there's another part of this that I've been

You
But I was just the idea that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. The end of wisdom is to not fear God.

Robby Butler
Imperfect love drives out here so we need to come to this

You
Yeah

Robby Butler
place well need to

You
God is inviting us too yeah I think that yeah I guess I say

Robby Butler
Yeah, yeah

You
that is that it's very self similar in that if you want to help this person you need like he wants to help other people know God, but then his imperfect knowledge of God is getting in the way of that

Robby Butler
Yeah

You
And as you Invite him into the journey you're on Then that is how he sees how to move through from the place, like not demonizing or shaming this position of fear, but acknowledging it as a phase and the journey that we're all going through and recycle through that as we go closer to God

Robby Butler
Yeah Yeah, I started my response. I haven't finished it yet, but I starred with that's a beautiful confession of your perception of God and your perception of what he wants in the fear. You feel disappointing him. I can relate to that. I am once told some friends that my biggest fear was not doing everything God wanted me to do. And then I was just about to transition to how do I help him? Part of one of the things I'm reflecting on that and trying to help him. It becomes clearer for me. There's always a benefit and trying to serve in love and support others. It's not it's not an expense. It's part of how we continue to mature and grow Jesus having the disciples feed the size thousand. Various, you know, we experience God as we are other focused or other standard

You
Was there one more thing you wanted to say?

Robby Butler
Yeah, but it's not coming to mind immediately so we could ask you again with the what's the next thing as your you got other thoughts

You
Yeah, I mean like did you feel like we got or at least gave you some father for an answer to the question you asked before

Robby Butler
Yeah, well I think so. This whole conversation is gonna replace through my mind. I can go back to recording as I respond to Jacob in in Africa.

You
All right, yeah I got about 10 minutes left. I guess we can ask God what's worth discussing or sharing that.

Robby Butler
Yeah I think the You know I see my perception and the big picture is that God, one way you could say this God introduces paradigm shifts to his body or column, revelations or correction whatever but you know Becky it into the reformation you go back further, but my mind looks at the reformation and then 250 years later William carries Admiration that God has given us a commission and we need to proceed as much as we pursue making profit around the world and then introducing or popularizing The awareness of the need for pioneer work on 60% of humanity and how these things they're building on each other Bring down from 60% amount 25% estimated of the world needing pioneer work along with that 60 years ago, Lauren Cunningham, starting with a real focus on hearing God's voice and listening to God and how many young people and older people have been influenced to believe that God speaks and that we can hear his voice and Mark Virkler, mom and others and now Jamie Winship, introducing some of these concepts, which help us Be more clearly with the scripture is staying to us about the nature of the kingdom and the Abundance view that God is inviting us to you so I see see these unfolding accelerant to call them for the fullness. They've got the kingdom being revealed and the knowledge of the glory of the Lord becoming throughout the Earth. And my prior self would be straining to jump into how can I participate in advancing that? But as a first auto cooling veterinary in Yuan They have talked about timing and I've come myself to the distance that I spent much of my life trying to push God agenda ahead of God's schedule without thinking of it that way, but that with the effect, so God needed to drop things into my life to slow me down that To get me on his pace as these orchestrating all things and I've come to a place now where I feel like this thing, God wants me to focus on is Healing and receiving the fullness, the relationship with my wife So that it's not me screening against her different mental impulses accomplish what I think God wants, but together sensing and moving toward what God called us together for and we had some good discussion about that yesterday we drove up to Canada for a day with your family that's some good time to talk in the car about that Still there

You
Yep, still here

Robby Butler
Yep, so that at the end of it, but that's good

You
OK, so good. I think there's something there but I just reflect at the moment and maybe we can use that as a closing in

Robby Butler
Yeah

You
prayer All right, I think the phrase that popped up even the back at the beginning was when this friend asked you to teach him or sure or whatever it's like the world part if this is not a teach, this is a show

Robby Butler
Yeah, yeah

You
Right is and this is the Idea couple weeks ago, which is that your job is not to change their mind. Your job is to empower them to live what they already believe, but gave up on because it was impossible.

Robby Butler
I would put the phrase to hear an experience God in there that's my goal

You
It's right, but I am sad but like for

Robby Butler
Yeah

You
myself, I want to hear an experience God but when someone asked me for help or I see someone who needs help how do I help them and right and you can put that either before or after like in order to show them, I need to

Robby Butler
Yeah

You
Hear an experience, God, and conversely, as we hear and experience, God, we will be filling us in, but the specific prayer request around that is realizing there's still some tensions between my life. We've got a lot of progress and a lot of areas

Robby Butler
Right

You
and the thing that. Perhaps like you I'd like to be able to talk about it and explain it and clarify and all these things but as as our friend Joel says words, ruin things, and

Robby Butler
Right, right?

You
the larger end of the picture I had even this morning was how do I? This is the armor barrel line with a BAR ER is how do I drop the armor that I've been unconsciously holding onto even though I hate it and make

Robby Butler
Yeah, yeah yeah

You
myself empty and vulnerable Not so much that she can see me as much as I want to be seen and I'm afraid of being seen, but so that she can see

Robby Butler
Ha ha, right

You
God go through me

Robby Butler
Yeah

You
or beyond me or whatever the right metaphor is and I think that's the thing that Is actually very close to what you're saying about experiencing God I've been resting with this idea that no man can see can see God live, and therefore the goals to see God and die and that's why everything in our

Robby Butler
Right Yeah, yeah

You
brain that our psyche know Conspire to conceal God from us or to not see you know the fullness of his love as well as his purity as well as because they are actually the same thing if you stare hard enough, but it's really painful

Robby Butler
Well, what I'm hearing experiencing is something that I want to hear an experience God and help Jacob your experience God that my goal and relating to him is not part truth that he refused for me, but to lead him into leaving The truth from God and hearing and experiencing God to know that he can hear an experience God and then you know that for life if he continues in that

You
Yeah, the tension is that at least way of experience from you in the past is you trying to teach me how to hear an

Robby Butler
Right

You
experience God?

Robby Butler
Right

You
And at least the thing that I'm Stealing fall to is that this is the danger of that is I become didactic, but I present myself as an act. We're trying to lead them into doing something.

Robby Butler
Yeah, yeah

You
And at least where I'm at now the goal is to actually become transparent, is like to be able to be to be perceived as foolish rather than trusted as wise

Robby Butler
Yeah, yeah yeah yeah I am With my my daughter and I had a really good conversation the other night and And I want to continue in a way that encourage and invite her to like guide to inviting me into more of this experience and continuing So I'm not with my own wife I'm with my daughter my son. How do we? How do I? Here and follow God in a way that lead them where that encouraged them invite them into the same and living that out day by day so that's in for Jacob as well with a little bit of texting

You
Yeah

Robby Butler
back-and-forth. Can I can lead me in doing that or

You
Yeah, yeah

Robby Butler
You know it's not my responsibility. I can't make it happen, but I can continue to invite him into that into that.

You
Yeah, OK so I guess I can pray that for you and for me just praying that I would see God in a way that Destroys my armor that my wife can see

Robby Butler
Ha ha

You
God through

Robby Butler
Yeah

You
that whatever that looks like

Robby Butler
I am amen Jesus OK go ahead. Thank you for being with us

You
All right You give ahead

Robby Butler
always but you we're not aware of it but now as we're becoming more aware of your presence and your love and your desire and ability to speak to us. You pray that you would continue to reveal what you want us to know and that's doing what you want us to do so that your love would overflow in our lives in a way that is experienced as love by those we care about and by and that leads them invites them into deeper relationship with you as well wish I give your name I'm just at specifically for what Ernie mentioned that you become transparent that you'd be able to let go of his armor and that his wife could see you in that process like your name amen

You
Remind me and his friendship over the years and all the ways he has labor and suffered for your sake of your kingdom, and I think you, especially for this new season of I guess consummation of stepping into a place of hearing and experiencing and drawing closer to God and experiencing a fruits of the spirit and God, I pray that as he sees people in need as he sees circumstances in the world that are exciting or threatening that that would just push him deeper to connecting emotionally with you at a deep visceral level That he would experience your goodness throughout his body, as well as his heart soul mind and strength, and I pray that as he leans into these relationships with Jacobs is wife, his daughter Lord, that you would help him to decrease in a way that you increase and that he can see The path of the cross to blessing these people care so much about it accomplishing your purpose. I pray Jesus name amen.

Robby Butler
Amen amen. Right great to talk.

You
Right A good one to post

Robby Butler
Oh yeah, that's fine

You
Do you think I'll ever send me the other transcript we're gonna forward and send to me

Robby Butler
What's up? Oh, I thought I did

You
About maybe I should go check thanks

Robby Butler
OK